would she lie?

She went off to some book festival thing. And she comes back with a denim skirt, 2 t-shirts and a bright red cagoul. Apparently masonic raccoons forced her into Handbags & Gladrags and made her buy things. She lost the evil rodents by running into Iceland where armed penguins made her buy microwave pizzas and ice cream. The world is clearly a more dangerous place than I had realised.

I was planning to spend the afternoon trying to work out why Oasis are so popular. But Liam Gallagher frightens me. Spent a while cowering under a cushion. Had to be lured out with a copy of Transmetropolitan. Read it while she caught up with Y:The Last Man. No housework has been done.

One more from Planet Ham - Pug on a ball. I love this picture. I love Planet Ham. I think she saw it mentioned on Neil Gaiman's blog. So I'll forgive her. Raccoons are nocturnal.

A matter of national security

Today she attempted to flood our little flat. She was going to do the dishes, forgot, wandered away in a daze (probably thinking about Rufus Wainwright or chocolate - she usually is) and left the tap running. She's claiming that this is more evidence that we need servants. They'd have to be very small, willing to sleep in the wardrobe and work for no money. Which sounds more like slavery to me. I think it's more evidence that she could be dangerous if she fell into the wrong hands. And she's still not allowed a creme egg.