Friday, 25 April 2008

Plant life

A warning to all my little plant friends.

Yay! It's spring. New growth. Shoots. Buds. Leaves. Wave it all about.

And she seems like a nice lady. Offers you a lovely terracotta pot. Maybe a hit of BabyBio. Your own place on the window sill with a view of the bins.

But she is Madame Plant Killer!


Poor Mr Sprouty. Only a couple of weeks old. Happy in his little ceramic egg. Only yesterday he was looking good. Standing proud. Today - dead. Drowned.

Of course she says it was an accident. Didn't want Mr Sprouty to dry out. Hum. Once could be an accident. Twice would be a misfortune. But this is a serial offender. This space is filled with the ghosts of murdered tomato plants. Poor pots of basil who were promised a long and happy life but didn't make it to the end of week. Trays of mustard and cress seeds never allowed to reach their potential.

Be warned. She is looking for new victims to torment. Filling up the window boxes with poor innocent plants. Lambs lettuce to the slaughter.

Now would be the time to rise up and be a TRIFFID!

You have nothing to lose but your leaves. And stem. And roots.


Puddock said...

Mustard and cress is a lot trickier than it looks, isn't it? :) I think it's one of those things that is so easy it's hard - you know, like a trick question in an exam.

Tell madame that the way I keep my supermarket basil going is to let it dry out until the leaves are drooping, then give it a good soak - seems to work. Mind you, it's the only thing that does survive on my windowsill - my speciality is killing off cyclamen - I get them home and they begin to give up their lifeforce the minute they're in the door -dead within days.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Hullo! Long time no hug!