I'm sure we've all been in situations where we've thought "What would Beth Ditto do?" - so, thank you, The Guardian - Bear salutes you.
An end to my torment. Madame's torment continues. She growls and weeps in front of Amazon. She wants the precious and she wants it now. They've broken her. She hates everything Tolkein and they've made her do Gollum.
Luckily she's off to her yoggi class tonight so I'll have peace to practice my surgical skills (yes, I do have a white coat and set of scrubs, thank you for asking) with Fred the Bunny (as seen on BoingBoing).
Before I go off to sharpen my scalpel and wash my paws - please may I recommend Mr James's blog "The Big Side Order". Always a work of excellence. His recent post - "Toys" - made my buttons go all misty.